Wild-Heart.net

Two months ago, my doctor started me on topamax for seasonal and hormonal mood swings. He mentioned that there is some anecdotal evidence that it helps also to relieve some of the symptoms of fibromyalgia and that it would help with weight loss as a side effect. I didn’t think too much about it. Why? Because there is another side effect of the medication, that of just about everything in life seeming to be dull and not enjoying much of anything, has been kicking my ass in a big way. Everyday of fighting against that side effect, I didn’t even think about getting on the scale. At the time that my doctor Rx’d the medication I had reached a plateau with my weight loss. I just didn’t think about it.

Until last night. I pulled out the scale and dusted it off. Damn. In just two months on that medication I’ve lost 27 lbs.! Yes, I know that’s a lot and I should have noticed it, however I have a bit of body dysmorphic disorder. When I look in the mirror I don’t see what other people see. So it was never obvious to me. Today, I had to prove it to myself. I dug out the leather pants and my old office wear clothing and sure enough they all fit again. I still have a long way to go before I reach my goal. I’ll just be brave enough to admit that the sizes of the clothes that now fit, that had been stashed in the back of my closet for 5 years were all sizes 18 and 16. I’m still a fatty, but there’s a lot less fatty now than there was at the beginning of this year.

This week was a bit of a downer on the weight loss front. I only managed to drop 2 lbs. Not bad I suppose considering this was “that week of the month.” Since several have asked how I’ve managed to drop over 40 lbs since this past February I suppose I’ll fill you in.

I’ve sort of been following the Slim Fast diet plan. When I sort of, I mean that I have to modify the shakes or they taste horrible. Well the Cappuccino one is alright but the rest suck. Shortly after starting on the 2 shakes and a sensible supper plan they came out with the Slim Fast Optima variety which is supposed to help control hunger longer. I have no clue how it does this but it does quiet well. But I still have to bulk up the shakes. I usually keep a can of the French Vanilla powder and a can of the Milk Chocolate powder on hand. I use the 8 oz. of skim milk but then I’ll add frozen fruit or ice into the blender with the milk and powder. Sometimes adding a tablespoon of instant cappuccino mix makes it a really heavenly treat. When I get hungry during the day I usually make some popcorn. But not the microwave variety. I want to control the amount of sodium and fat that goes into it so I pop it in a pan on the stove and it’s generally the afternoon snack for all of the boys and myself with them eating far more of it than I do.

When I first started on the Slim Fast plan, I had a lot of people snicker and tell me, “Oh boy, you’re going to be running to the bathroom a lot!” But as a person who’s lived with severe IBS for the last 20 years, this diet seems to have done a great deal to keep that under control. I think it’s because I’m finally getting the dietary requirements that I need and my body isn’t having to struggle to digest what it’s taking in. That and lots of water. As an added bonus, my blood pressure, while it still tends to go sky high during moments of intense stress, has stabilized to a reasonable  123/76 which any medical professional will tell you is outstanding for a person with diastolic heart failure. Even my pulse has settled down to the low 90’s and upper 80’s. I attribute that to medication changes, though.

So there you have it. That’s how I’m doing it and it seems to be working.

I very rarely talk about matters of weight loss. Having been a person of “normal” weight until reaching my senior year of HS, I don’t know why I still find it difficult to talk about. Name any other subject and I’ll happily discuss it for hours. But my weight and diet struggles and triumphs I usually tend to keep very private. I think growing up watching my mother’s struggles with weight have a lot to do it with it, maybe. My mother owned two copies of a nutritional guide book through the years. One an updated version of the other. I grew up knowing more about nutrition and eating healthy than most children probably do.

That knowledge didn’t stop me from turning into a slowly inflating human balloon as an adult though. I am still reluctant to join any groups. Even free ones such as this free calorie counter. I’ve browsed through their website and typed a few things into their database search and honestly, I think it’s a very smart place for those who don’t know what they are doing to their bodies and want to start learning and keeping track. Their database is full of nutritional label facts for a wide variety of prepared foods. My only wish is that there was a way to put a recipe into their database and see what end results are.

I know that already prepared food is a boon for those of us struggling to lose weight and then maintain that weight-loss once it is achieved. I just can’t bring myself to deal with the preservatives that are packaged along with the food. I think far too many of us are going to end up being well preserved long after death as a result of preservatives. Now, don’t get me wrong. I don’t admonish those who eat them now and then. Especially those with families or who are on a tight food budget. I just know that personally, I feel a lot healthier when I’m eating fresh whole foods.

So. Joe and I have this on-going sort of debate.

I am convinced that if spew tastes like cheesecake, we could easily solve world peace. Or at the very least he would be a very happy man and I could lose a whole lot of weight. Think about it.

Cheesecake.

Joe refuses to speculate if he would take a daily supplement in capsule form that would make his spew taste like cheesecake.

Spew should taste like cheesecake. I’m not suggesting that spew should take on the consistency of cheesecake. That’s just down right nasty. Absolutely disgusting. I’m just saying that instead of it tasting the way it really does, it should taste like cheesecake.

Maybe even a supplement to make it taste like strawberry cheesecake. That would kick so much ass.

When I win the lottery, I am going to employ a food chemist and tackle this. It could change the world.